Tries to organise an orgy at our flat.... Total and absolute; an appalling and abject failure. In the end I just ended up sucking my flatmate off, while his girlfriend drilled me up the ass with an eight inch strap-on dildo. I mean: it was fun and everything, but a little bit of audience participation could have made a simply average night TOTALLY GODDAMN AWESOME. The applause at the end was good though. It's nice, feeling that your talents have been at least somewhat recognized.

I dunno bro, I mean, I didn't swallow—I just let that shit drip from my lips like so many dribbling drops of off-yellow spray paint –- but, you know, unless there's a chance of some AIDS going on I kinda think it wasn't really worth it, I guess I kinda have a death wish. But it's like this with everything, everyone wants to be a spectator—and nobody wants to be the spectacle.

Because being in the position of the watched is some harsh steel wool scrubbing on your skin. You must be willing to open yourself up to criticism from every angry angle. Hey, don't hate the PLAYA, hate the GAME. Hate the stark irreducibility of the black and white chessboard that lets me continue to let make my money: SYSTEMATIC IGNORANCE motherfuckers, it's IMPERFECT INFORMATION that leads to the MARKET INEFFICENCY that keep the Sir Edmonds flowing through my hands.

I have everything you might need. I am a purveyor of the purest distilled substance of dreams. I got the chemical formula to every problem you may possibly encounter.o

Man, my problem is I actually care. and the shit, the people, don't care about me back, cuts me like a broken window pane. God I'm such an idiot. To even imagine; this reciprocal,lunacy unpredictable by the most fortuitous of prophets.. What was I thinking. Basic, basal insanity. Base levels mmMagical wish fulfilment.

She is beautiful, but more importantly: smart and total. like a solar eclipse.

In comparison: I am dull shadow. And so stupid, so fucking stupid.

Why? Why! Do I fall in love? With anyone? I guess God really does play dice. So, so goddamn impressionable and so, so goddann stupid. I fall in love with these girls but you know, no matter. Flag it man; I've tumbled down too many stairs already.

Fuck it. They can crash into my iceburg, rather than vice-is-versa.

Man, at this late stage of the game, well, I've been clocked in the face a fair few times: but love is the most brutal thing i have ever experienced.

Fucking women man, like I got a clue what do to.