Man, you know, perhaps I feel: like I can do all this stuff, perhaps, could be (possibly) these things, that might, that maybe, that it plausibly could be the case that no-one has ever done before, but who the fuck cares, who gives a shit honestly. Tonight I drank an entire bottle of vodka, barely even gets me drunk. My worth as a person is directly proportional to who I can affect, to what I can inflict; the ideas I infected, the impact I have on other individuals.

My ability to fuck shit up is the only thing that gives me any value as a human being. That's the sole and single only thing. Other people only notice you when you're messing with their business. The whole “nice-as-pie” attitude don't sell newspapers. Maggots and glazed dead eyes, that's what the viewers want.

I dun like being a violent person, but at least at the end of it you feel like you've made a difference. They ain't gonna forget that shit in a hurry. Otherwise it's raindrops on brand new shiny leather shoes, not much of anything. Another dot dot dot in the middle of the long pause between awkward silences.

Man, you know, it seems like I'm fighting a fight I can't win, fucking a hole that goes nowhere. Yeah, I have a lot to compensate for.