If you are rich, it is very easy to gamble extravagantly.

When I was a whole person I used to throw my fingers haphazard into the pot, two at a time, whatever the odds they gave me, but now that I'm half-blind and missing three quarters of my limbs I have become a lot more cautious. The less you have, the less you can afford to lose. Getting a little sick of sticking both hands into the hot oil of the frying pan here.

I don't want to get hurt.

You; you half the time I don't get at all. And half the time I do. Half the time you're all poisoned spikes and exoskeleton, and on the other hand I've seen the marshmallows and dish washing liquid side of you, the side that's visible in the right light, you shine fluorescent as a semen stain. I just wish we didn't have to play minesweeper together quite so often.

Click?

Click? Click? Click? BANG!

So much baggage, I'd doubt they'd even let us on the same aeroplane. Oh come on dude, I've been waiting fucking ages to change my facebook status from “I'm single” to “It's complicated”. Give me a goddamn break. Wouldn't everything be so much simpler if simple liking was quite simply enough? And! I swear to god! I'll disregard all those horrible things my friends might have said. Just, you know, sink, slide into a rum & coke maybe with me sometimes.

Christ, despite best efforts I'm not even drunk.