Touch
Posted on Sat Jun 23 12:27:00 UTC 2007
Winter crept up on me like a blind masseuse. Zero degrees this morning. That feeling, the warmth of human skin is so addictive. I wish I could just suck dick continual and be done with it, but women...
Women, they always leave me in a state of confusion. Unless I am drunk. In which case I am not confused, I am merely mistaken. I got no fear of losing control like some people do, as for me: I like losing control. Me, a fat fuck with a face like an ugly gargoyle, me I got to make do with the pure force of my personality. My fear is only for the bleeding knuckles and bloody noses and the broken glass of the morning after, that wretched horrible bowel splattering remorse. The inevitable apologies I gotta make.
“I am so so terribly sorry. It won't happen again I promise”
But it will happen again. Oh yes. I really don't want to hurt nobody, just I am a roman candle of rage sometimes. I'm actually kinda surprised nothing worse has happened. Amongst certain circles I am the only one of the boys who hasn't used his diversion yet. No criminal convictions, no charges laid. Found out recently that these fuckers were actually considering dobbing me in for dealing, when I used to deal, many moons ago. Over our aesthetic differences, would you believe. I might be scum to them, but they are scum to me. You simply can't trust squares, they got no code. They'll fuck you in the ass and feel good about it afterwards, they'll feel like they was doing some kinda community service, but find the right bunch of sifters and you got yourself a band of brothers so tight you couldn't slide a needle, indivisible and vacuum sealed.
I need to cut all the deadwood from my life.
Women, they always leave me in a state of confusion. Unless I am drunk. In which case I am not confused, I am merely mistaken. I got no fear of losing control like some people do, as for me: I like losing control. Me, a fat fuck with a face like an ugly gargoyle, me I got to make do with the pure force of my personality. My fear is only for the bleeding knuckles and bloody noses and the broken glass of the morning after, that wretched horrible bowel splattering remorse. The inevitable apologies I gotta make.
“I am so so terribly sorry. It won't happen again I promise”
But it will happen again. Oh yes. I really don't want to hurt nobody, just I am a roman candle of rage sometimes. I'm actually kinda surprised nothing worse has happened. Amongst certain circles I am the only one of the boys who hasn't used his diversion yet. No criminal convictions, no charges laid. Found out recently that these fuckers were actually considering dobbing me in for dealing, when I used to deal, many moons ago. Over our aesthetic differences, would you believe. I might be scum to them, but they are scum to me. You simply can't trust squares, they got no code. They'll fuck you in the ass and feel good about it afterwards, they'll feel like they was doing some kinda community service, but find the right bunch of sifters and you got yourself a band of brothers so tight you couldn't slide a needle, indivisible and vacuum sealed.
I need to cut all the deadwood from my life.